The Making of 'Instrumentalistic': A Composer's Odyssey in Crafting New Music

Two percent of adults experience a severe form of tinnitus. Tinnitus is a condition characterized by the perception of noise or ringing in the ears when there is no external sound source. It can be caused by various factors, such as:

Cisplatin is a commonly used chemotherapy drug to treat various types of cancer, but it can have detrimental effects on the inner ear, leading to a condition known as cisplatin-induced ototoxicity. Ototoxicity refers to the damage to the auditory system, including the inner ear and auditory nerve, which can result in hearing loss or tinnitus (ringing in the ears).

CIPN stands for Chemotherapy-Induced Peripheral Neuropathy. It is a common side effect of certain chemotherapy drugs used to treat cancer (e.g., cisplatin). CIPN occurs due to damage to the peripheral nerves, which are responsible for transmitting signals between the central nervous system (brain and spinal cord) and the rest of the body, including the extremities (hands and feet).

The Making of Instrumentalistic

If you're anything like me, you hear a constant high-pitched "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" ringing that never seems to fade away. It's there when I wake up, when I go to sleep, and even when I try to enjoy life's simple pleasures like listening to music. At times and more often by the day, to listen to music is to have sharp-aching pain in my ears. Adding to the challenge, my hearing now frequently drops out, leaving me feeling unnerved as I wait for it to return.

"You are going to lose your hearing." This statement from my doctor as well as her simple question about the film "Sound of Metal" opened my eyes to the profound impact of my condition. Watching the movie became a harrowing experience as I saw myself in drummer Ruben's (Riz Ahmed) struggles. Like a fighter gearing up for a challenging battle, I won't give up, even though I know the ultimate outcome. My own Battle of Thermopylae if you will.

Recording and mixing an album while battling aggressive hearing loss has been an awe-inspiring and miraculous feat for me. It also stung like a yellow jacket and was painstaking. And it felt as if I was on an infinite rollercoaster ride. As a true lover of music and sound, I have a profound understanding of frequencies, which are the fundamental building blocks of auditory experiences. Manipulating these frequencies through EQ plays a vital role in perfecting music and soundscapes, crafting polished and professional mixes.

However, over the last two years, any mixing sessions I'm able to tolerate are fraught with frustration as my aggressive tinnitus poses a relentless challenge. The constant ringing in my ears disrupts my ability to hear certain frequencies, leaving me unable to discern the subtle nuances of sounds like cymbals, guitar, flutes, horns or choir vocals for example. What's more, introducing new frequencies into my damaged hearing only amplifies the symptoms to an overwhelming point where I can no longer hear anything, forcing me to pause and patiently wait for the ringing and discomfort to subside, sometimes enduring this setback for weeks or months.

Notwithstanding these and other physical obstacles, I persevered, driven by my love for music and an unwavering commitment to my craft, defying the odds to create an extraordinary musical experience despite the limitations imposed upon me.

On the night of my hearing diagnosis, I had an unforgettable dream - a composer's dream filled with melodies and fantastical settings from important periods in my life. As someone on a

journey of self-discovery, the dream reflected my own imperfections and struggles. But amidst it all, one thing defined me - music. Inspired by this vision, I knew I had to create an album, one that would encompass my musical abilities and be captured while enduring this volatile predicament. Thus, "Instrumentalistic" was born - a word that might not exist in the dictionary, but one that defines me perfectly.

Stay tuned for the future unveiling of this album's extraordinary artwork

As my album "Instrumentalistic" will soon make its way to the airwaves, every painstaking minute spent cleaning up frequencies feels like a worthy endeavor. I find solace in knowing that despite the uncertainty of my hearing's future, I've poured my heart and soul into this album. I wrote, performed, and meticulously mixed each track, representing my journey through music shadowed by struggle. Another lap in the race against time. Knowing that one day I might not be able to fully appreciate it makes this new musical creation even more meaningful.

In the face of these adversities, I've discovered once again the beauty of resilience and the transformative power of music. "Instrumentalistic" is not just an album; it's a testament to the harmonious symphony within that can withstand life's greatest challenges. Instrumentalistic is currently being pressed on vinyl. It will be released this winter on digital and a limited edition vinyl record.